Women had a great position in the Muslim society in the past. Allaah created women for a special task to perform in this life and provided them with special characteristics that help them fulfill their duties. Whenever believing women took special care to fulfill their duty, they reached the best of grades. The history of believing women gives us the best example through the manners by which the performed their duties and tasks, thus reaching the highest of grades. Following is the story of one of the great believing woman who must be taken as an example by all women.

Asmaa`, daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, said, "Az-Zubair married me, when he had no money or servants on (the face of this) earth. He did not own any camels other than a Nadhi'h ( a camel used to transport water) and a horse. I used to feed his horse, go out for water, sow his bucket and prepare dough for bread. I did not know how to bake good bread. Women from Al-Ansar (people of Madinah) used to bake bread for me. They were good women. I used to transport date seeds, by carrying them on my head, from Az-Zubair's land that the Messenger of Allaah gave him. The land was two thirds of a Farsakh ( a Farsakh is 18 miles) away. One day, while carrying date seeds on my head, I met with the Messenger of Allaah along with two men of Al-Ansar. The Messenger called me and said to his camel: 'Ikh, Ikh,' (for the camel to bow down), to carry me behind him. I felt shy to accompany men. I also remembered how jealous Az-Zubair is, for he was the most jealous among men. The Messenger of Allaah realized that I felt shy, and left. I came to Az-Zubair and said to him: 'The Messenger of Allaah, along with some of his companions, met me while I was carrying date seeds on my head. He stopped to carry me (with him on his camel). I felt shy from him and remembered your jealousy.' He said: 'By Allaah! Your carrying date seed is worse to me than your riding with him."' Asmaa' then said, "Abu Bakr (her father) sent me a servant to take care of the horse. It was like if he freed me." [Al-Bukhari &Muslim]

Dear Sisters In Islaam:

This righteous, good woman used to serve her husband and take care of her home. She did not think that this job is demeaning, an attitude common amongst women ( and so called educated Muslim women of) today. Women of today, except the righteous few, took women of the West as their example. This woman, Asmaa`, felt so shy, that she did not ride behind the Messenger of Allaah. She did not want to anger her husband, although she was facing hardship transporting date seeds and water, feeding the horse and preparing dough. She was the daughter of As-Siddiq, Abu Bakr, the best companion of the Messenger of Allaah. She did not say, "I am the daughter of As-Siddiq and this should not happen to me." Her father was not poor. He was a master of his people. All this did not stop her from performing her duty towards her husband, loving him and caring for his feelings. Women of today are reminded with such women of the past. They are reminded with the daughters of As-Siddiq and the way she treated her husband. They are reminded with her shyness patience and her good behaviour. So we ask Allaah that Muslim women of today benefit from such examples and become like them. And also the brothers in Islaam should look upon the Prophet Muhammed for an example and try to revive his Sunnah in how to be a Muslim husband, a father, a son and other daily affairs. O Allaah please makes it easy for the believing men and women in following the straight path and forgives us of all of our sins Ameen.
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Mother's advice to a daughter

Abd al-Malik said: Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came in to her, to advise her, and said:

O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you possess these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father's wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah.

The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment, whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (Subhanahu wa ala) choose what is best for you and protect you. She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success; she gave birth to kings who ruled after him.

This advice clearly included everything that one could think of as regards the good manners that a young girl needs to know about in order to treat her husband properly and be a suitable companion for him. The words of this wise mother deserve to be taken as the standard for every young girl who is about to get married.

http://www.wefound.org/texts/Ideal_Muslims_files/herhusband.htm

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